what hurt most was being too close

2006-11-18T19:14:00.000-08:00

I cant give you what you wanted since day one. Perharps I aint the one for you. There is anothr girl out there waiting for you. Hais. Wo hao xiang zai dang zu ni de mei hao de jiang lai. I am sorry for everything. If I have to let you go. I will. For the sake of your happiness. I am willing. I am thinking of life w/o you. It wont be much difference actually. Just that no one will tolerate my rubbish. No more care & love. There wont be anyone pamper-ing me. & I will be lonely. The gap between us is getting bigger & bigger. Maybe you wont notice it but I did. & How many times must I say stop kup-ing phone @ me. Where's your manners? Uh, Forget it. What the point pouring all my sorrows here. It wont slove the problem too. chuan dao qiao tou zi ruan zi.

2006-11-13T20:41:00.000-08:00

I have updated @ princessdreams-- yesterday. & I dont feel like copy&paste it here. So yea, go to princessdreams-- to read my latest entry. Hoildays to me are so so so NO LIFE can. I envy others who can go out anytime & anywhere they want. My fucker mother is kao bei kao bu-ing at me already. Shall blog some other time. I hate my mother cans? She is so er xim. Although she born me out to this world & feed me till so fat! She can just seriously go and die.

2006-11-08T02:40:00.000-08:00

I guess I know what is my future already. I have to take the test held during december 18th. After that I would know whether I will be promoted anot. All my classmates have been seeing Mr Goy & Mrs Lee. Just now Mrs Lee told me that my parents have to see A.Tang. & is like I am the only one who have to see A.Tang lor. 5% more for my english & I can get promoted. RAHH! Other schools are like having hoildays already. Enjoy-ing like hell. & We, Secondary Three Bowenians? Suffering from all those stupid test. Now I just have to pray that MAYBE I would recieve a good news tmr. If not I have to mug hard for my december 18th paper already. I wonder how would I pass my maths lah lor. Today I had three tests & confirm all gone case. Esp, Maths. After school, Meet baby & reached home @ 4plus. All the best to ME! prays* [=

2006-11-06T01:44:00.000-08:00

Honestly, I am sick and tired of everything lah. You should jolly well know very well whether you did timer me lah okay! you really did send me that message. Why would you send me two morning messages hur? You think I kam gong ah? Sometimes I wonder why you would love a whore like me. Seriously, I think you are so so so hard-to-be-trust. Everytime when i finally built up the trust. you would find all odds to wash it away. From the start, I was in the wrong. Perharps both of us were not in the wrong. Maybe a break up may be a good choice. Stop acting like you so so effing care about me. By telling me, "How much I meant to you" OR " Break up bah since you want to break. I just want you to be happy." I wonder how true are they. OR they are just tian yan mi yu. Without me maybe you will be living in a much happier state. How much time you accompany me? You told me before N lvls that after N lvls you will accompany me more. BUT is that the truth? NO! Everyday after school, I would see this classmate of mine who her boyfriend is also having N lvls this year waiting for her outside school. BUT WHERE's MINE? For all I have done, this is what I get back in return. I know I am selfish. This is my feelings. & yes, I am hurt. SO? I am having a test tmr. & i really need to score well for it. How can I study for it in such a status where I am so emo? I really dont know how to make you happy. Perharps I have made you the happiest boy on earth but ironically also the most miserable one! There are times when we both are too stubborn & egoistic to give in, too unreasonable to understand, too late for regrets, too tremendously at fault to forgive & forget, & too lazy to be true. & maybe you dont know I always LOATHE YOU KUP-ING my phone. you used to play a very big part of my life. You are my boyfriend, my baby, my bestfriend, my confidante, my husband-to-be, my love. But now? I have doubts. Doubts that are you the one playing such a big role in my life. I hate myself the most. When tears came rolling down my cheek. Because of you! I feel so stupid & foolish. yes, I admit I am demanding. I am demanding cause I want this love to be the love of my life. Do you know the pain in my tears? Anyway, I guess it is not important already.

2006-11-04T01:56:00.000-08:00

This is going to be my personal blog. I will be having it password protected. Aint like princessdreams--. I woke up @ 11plus today. Helped Megan with her friendster profile & I dont have time to help her edit those fonts & colours which she want me to change. I will do it either tmr or monday. I wont be blogging till friday {/10th Nov} Due to the two weeks test, I have to study for it. I will be starting on SS later on. Chapter 7, I dont know even a single thing about it. As I was absent from school on thursday. My parents were told to see either Mrs A.Lee or Mr W.Goy next week. Most prob I will ask my parents to meet Mr W.Goy this thursday or friday. My parents dont know yet that I am at the verge of retain-ing. Honestly I dont even have the courage to tell em. I went for maths tuition. & guess who I saw. My primary school friend cum my neighbour lah. I was too pai seh to say HI. Both of us were like laughing at each other. LOL. After tuition, went to 7-11 to buy some stuffs and headed back home. reach home went online. logged in blogskins.com as I need to find a blogskin for this blog. & finally I am done with it. I gotta go already. Meeting my mum at town before heading to my aunt's new house. > ;D

2006-11-03T03:31:00.000-08:00

GRAND OPENING! YAYNESS